Editing The Essential Guide to Droids (Page 54-55)

[[Category:The Essential Guide to Droids]]
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== Commercial Service: C2-R4 Multipurpose Droid ==

Not every droid is made by a massive conglomerate like Cybot Galactica, or even an antiquated trading star like Serv-O-Droid. Some are slapped together by teams of eccentric inventors and anxious investors, who share a dream of hitting the big time by working outside the system. Sadly, close to 95 percent of these rollouts are failures, and even the lucky survivors are usually bought out by large corporations or their subsidiaries. The C2-R4 Multipurpose Unit falls into the former category-it was a colossal flop from day one.

Years ago, a colony of Squibs decided the space detritus they'd been collecting for the Squib Merchandising Consortium could easily be assembled into functional automatons. Their excitement at creating something new was exceeded only by their anticipation of fervently haggling with consumers over the final retail price. With typical Squib enthusiasm, they set to work building a product that everyone would want. With typical Squib shortsightedness, they neglected to decide on a single overriding function or give any thought to aesthetic appeal. The result was a cobbled-together monstrosity only its creators could love.

The C2-R4's chassis was a scrapped R-series astromech shell. Welded onto either side were jutting collections of household appliances joined by snaking power cells and electronic leads. The body and head were studded with secondhand sensors, blinking diodes, and unidentifiable gizmos, and looked like the losing entry in a primary-school science fair.

The Squibs grabbed whatever programming matrices they could get their paws on, resulting in a schizophrenic mishmash of function and ability. The C2-R4 "specialized" in catalytic fuel conversion, enzymatic breakdown, chemical diagnostic programming, and bacterial composting. Furthermore, the appliances made them into mobile blenders, toaster ovens, and bang-corn air poppers. The upshot was that, when a C2-R4 fed trash into its sharp, grinding maw, it could produce a presentable four-course dinner for two.

But no one, not even Gamorreans, wanted meals made out of garbage. The disastrous washout of the C2-R4 line was a disappointment to the Squibs, but they enjoyed haggling with the bill collectors and remainder houses.

One unit ended up on Tatooine, where it was taken in by Wuher, gruff bartender of the Mos Eisley cantina. After the novice bounty hunter Greedo was fatally blasted by Han Solo, Wuher converted the C2-R4 into a makeshift distillery. He fed the unlucky Rodian's stiffening corpse into the droid's shredder, piece by piece. Allegedly, the resulting cocktail was exquisite.

=== Info Boxes ===

==== Side View ====

* Four-piece Flatware Set (behind panel)
* Bang-corn Air Popper
* Enzymatic Converter
* Broadband Spectral Scanner
* Articulated Metal Extensors
* Heavy Manipulator Arms
* Tank Tread Locomotion

==== Front View ====

* Recharge Coupling
* Vocabulator
* Grinding Blades/Shredder Teeth Assembly
* Food Processor
* Chilled Drink Tumbler
* Toaster Oven
* Holographic Projector
* Radar Eye
* Chemical Composter
* Removable Refuse Module
* Floodlights