Sham Hatwitch at 23:04, 5 January 2026

2026-01-05T23:04:03Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 23:04, 5 January 2026
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	[[Category:The Essential Guide to Droids]]		[[Category:The Essential Guide to Droids]]
	[[File:TheEssentialGuideToDroids ~~039~~.jpg\|thumb\|right]]		[[File:TheEssentialGuideToDroids 040.jpg\|thumb\|right]]

	== ~~Commercial Service~~: ~~C2-R4 Multipurpose~~ Droid ==		== Municipal: Systems Control Droid ==

	~~Not every droid is made by a massive conglomerate like Cybot Galactica, or even an antiquated trading star like Serv-O-Droid. Some are slapped together by teams~~ of ~~eccentric inventors~~ and ~~anxious investors~~, ~~who share~~ a ~~dream of hitting the~~ big ~~time by working outside~~ the ~~system. Sadly, close~~ to ~~95 percent of these rollouts are failures, and even the lucky survivors are usually bought out by large corporations or their subsidiaries. The C2~~-~~R4 Multipurpose Unit falls into the former category-it was a colossal flop from day one~~.		Genetech Corporation's string of highly successful supervisory and administrative units hit a snag with the PIP/2 systems control droid, a big-budget failure that briefly caused the company to return to its medical-supply roots.

	~~Years ago~~, ~~a colony of Squibs decided the space detritus they'd been collecting~~ for the Squib Merchandising Consortium could easily be assembled into functional automatons. Their excitement at creating something new was exceeded only by their anticipation of fervently haggling with consumers over the final retail price. With typical Squib enthusiasm, ~~they set~~ to ~~work building a product that everyone would want~~. ~~With typical Squib shortsightedness~~, ~~they neglected~~ to ~~decide on a single overriding function or give any thought to aesthetic appeal. The result was a cobbled~~-~~together monstrosity only its creators could love~~.		Market research prodded Genetech to exploit a relatively untapped niche-control-board operation. Although a few modern computer systems are completely automated through artificial intelligence and microprocessors, many networks rely on old-fashioned central switchboards and keyboard input panels. The reasons for the latter setup are many, ranging from cost to security to convenience, but the humans and aliens who run the control boards are almost universally overworked. Inevitably, this leads to accidental goofs and anxiety-induced foul-ups.

	The ~~C2-R4's chassis~~ was a ~~scrapped R-series astromech shell. Welded onto either side were jutting collections of household appliances joined by snaking power cells~~ and ~~electronic leads~~. ~~The body and head were studded with secondhand sensors~~, ~~blinking diodes~~, ~~and unidentifiable gizmos~~, and ~~looked like~~ the ~~losing entry~~ in a ~~primary-school science fair~~.		The PIP/2 was rushed into development to replace these flawed workers with a fast and foolproof droid. For reasons unclear, Genetech invested a huge number of production credits in the line's creation, despite the fact that the droid could only be sold to a relatively small market. Numerous logistical delays compounded their problem. Before long, the company and its stockholders had an enormous stake in the PIP/2-if it didn't sell in record numbers, the fiscal year would be a disaster.

	~~The Squibs grabbed whatever programming matrices they~~ could ~~get their paws on~~, ~~resulting~~ in ~~a schizophrenic mishmash of function and ability~~. ~~The C2~~-R4 "~~specialized" in catalytic fuel conversion, enzymatic breakdown, chemical diagnostic programming,~~ and ~~bacterial composting~~. ~~Furthermore~~, the ~~appliances made them into mobile blenders, toaster ovens, and bang-corn air poppers. The upshot~~ was ~~that, when a C2-R4 fed trash into its sharp, grinding maw, it could produce a presentable four-course dinner for two~~.		No droid model could be expected to fulfill such high expectations, but the PIP/2 failed in an extraordinarily spectacular fashion. Genetech advertised the unit as "glitch-proof," even going so far as to offer money-back guarantees to municipal and corporate buyers. To the company's horror, glitches seemed to be all the new droid was capable of.

	~~But no one~~, ~~not even Gamorreans~~, ~~wanted meals made out of garbage~~. The ~~disastrous washout of~~ the ~~C2-R4 line was~~ a ~~disappointment~~ to ~~the Squibs~~, ~~but they enjoyed haggling~~ with ~~the bill collectors and remainder houses~~.		The PIP/2's droid brain handled simple tasks with ease, but quickly became overtaxed when subjected to excessive stimuli-alarm bells and warning lights, for instance. The stressed unit would either switch itself off or punch the wrong buttons in a vain effort to keep up. In one case, a systems control droid crossed wired a habitation sphere's sewage drains with its water-flow piping, resulting in 1,013 cases of severe intestinal distress.

	~~One unit ended up on Tatooine, where it~~ was ~~taken in by Wuher~~, ~~gruff bartender~~ of the ~~Mos Eisley cantina~~. ~~After~~ the ~~novice bounty hunter Greedo~~ was ~~fatally blasted by Han Solo~~, ~~Wuher converted~~ the ~~C2-R4 into~~ a ~~makeshift distillery~~. ~~He fed~~ the ~~unlucky Rodian~~'s ~~stiffening corpse into~~ the ~~droid's shredder, piece by piece. Allegedly~~, the ~~resulting cocktail was exquisite~~.		Genetech was quick to respond to complaints, recalling as many units as possible and installing new programming patches. These modified droids operated almost perfectly-their optics-covered heads could scan every section of the control board simultaneously, while their eight jointed limbs punched keys with enviable speed and precision. Unfortunately, the damage was done. The systems control line continued for two small years until its merciful discontinuation, while a chastened Genetech refocused its sales efforts on its core medical market until the public's memory of the PIP/2 had faded.

			Occasionally, a galactic citizen might see one of the outdated droids still in use. The Holographic Zoo of Extinct Animals on Coruscant used a PIP/2 to control the holographic dioramas and keep visitors moving through the exhibit halls. When Han Solo's children became lost in the museum, the droid had a distinctly unpleasant encounter with an enraged Wookiee named Chewbacca.

	=== Info Boxes ===		=== Info Boxes ===

	~~==== Side View ====~~

	* Four-piece Flatware Set (behind panel)
	* Bang-corn Air Popper
	* Enzymatic Converter
	* Broadband Spectral Scanner
	* Articulated Metal Extensors
	* Heavy Manipulator Arms
	* Tank Tread Locomotion

	==== Front View ====		==== Front View ====
			* Rotating Reception Antennae
			* Sensor Feed Hookup
			* Adjustable Optic Sensors for Control Board
			* Eight Articulated Control Limbs
			* Variable-height Telescoping Legs

	* Recharge Coupling		==== Side View ====
	* Vocabulator		* Primary Optic Sensors for Droid/Master Interaction
	* ~~Grinding Blades~~/~~Shredder Teeth Assembly~~		* Multitasking Cognitive Processor
	* ~~Food~~ Processor		* Vocabulator/Broadcast Speaker
	* ~~Chilled Drink Tumbler~~		* Multijointed Keypad Digits
	* Toaster Oven
	* Holographic Projector
	* Radar Eye
	* Chemical Composter
	* Removable Refuse Module
	* ~~Floodlights~~

Sham Hatwitch: Created page with "Category:The Essential Guide to Droids right == Commercial Service: C2-R4 Multipurpose Droid == Not every droid is made by a massive conglomerate like Cybot Galactica, or even an antiquated trading star like Serv-O-Droid. Some are slapped together by teams of eccentric inventors and anxious investors, who share a dream of hitting the big time by working outside the system. Sadly, close to 95 percent of these rollouts..."

2026-01-05T22:56:23Z

Created page with "Category:The Essential Guide to Droids thumb|right == Commercial Service: C2-R4 Multipurpose Droid == Not every droid is made by a massive conglomerate like Cybot Galactica, or even an antiquated trading star like Serv-O-Droid. Some are slapped together by teams of eccentric inventors and anxious investors, who share a dream of hitting the big time by working outside the system. Sadly, close to 95 percent of these rollouts..."

New page

[[Category:The Essential Guide to Droids]]
[[File:TheEssentialGuideToDroids 039.jpg|thumb|right]]

== Commercial Service: C2-R4 Multipurpose Droid ==

Not every droid is made by a massive conglomerate like Cybot Galactica, or even an antiquated trading star like Serv-O-Droid. Some are slapped together by teams of eccentric inventors and anxious investors, who share a dream of hitting the big time by working outside the system. Sadly, close to 95 percent of these rollouts are failures, and even the lucky survivors are usually bought out by large corporations or their subsidiaries. The C2-R4 Multipurpose Unit falls into the former category-it was a colossal flop from day one.

Years ago, a colony of Squibs decided the space detritus they'd been collecting for the Squib Merchandising Consortium could easily be assembled into functional automatons. Their excitement at creating something new was exceeded only by their anticipation of fervently haggling with consumers over the final retail price. With typical Squib enthusiasm, they set to work building a product that everyone would want. With typical Squib shortsightedness, they neglected to decide on a single overriding function or give any thought to aesthetic appeal. The result was a cobbled-together monstrosity only its creators could love.

The C2-R4's chassis was a scrapped R-series astromech shell. Welded onto either side were jutting collections of household appliances joined by snaking power cells and electronic leads. The body and head were studded with secondhand sensors, blinking diodes, and unidentifiable gizmos, and looked like the losing entry in a primary-school science fair.

The Squibs grabbed whatever programming matrices they could get their paws on, resulting in a schizophrenic mishmash of function and ability. The C2-R4 "specialized" in catalytic fuel conversion, enzymatic breakdown, chemical diagnostic programming, and bacterial composting. Furthermore, the appliances made them into mobile blenders, toaster ovens, and bang-corn air poppers. The upshot was that, when a C2-R4 fed trash into its sharp, grinding maw, it could produce a presentable four-course dinner for two.

But no one, not even Gamorreans, wanted meals made out of garbage. The disastrous washout of the C2-R4 line was a disappointment to the Squibs, but they enjoyed haggling with the bill collectors and remainder houses.

One unit ended up on Tatooine, where it was taken in by Wuher, gruff bartender of the Mos Eisley cantina. After the novice bounty hunter Greedo was fatally blasted by Han Solo, Wuher converted the C2-R4 into a makeshift distillery. He fed the unlucky Rodian's stiffening corpse into the droid's shredder, piece by piece. Allegedly, the resulting cocktail was exquisite.

=== Info Boxes ===

==== Side View ====

* Four-piece Flatware Set (behind panel)
* Bang-corn Air Popper
* Enzymatic Converter
* Broadband Spectral Scanner
* Articulated Metal Extensors
* Heavy Manipulator Arms
* Tank Tread Locomotion

==== Front View ====

* Recharge Coupling
* Vocabulator
* Grinding Blades/Shredder Teeth Assembly
* Food Processor
* Chilled Drink Tumbler
* Toaster Oven
* Holographic Projector
* Radar Eye
* Chemical Composter
* Removable Refuse Module
* Floodlights

The Essential Guide to Droids (Page 54-55) - Revision history

Sham Hatwitch at 23:04, 5 January 2026